So many “empaths” are really hypervigilant people traumatized from growing up in emotionally-dysregulated and emotionally-unsafe families, continuing to live as though still living in that family — and even choosing other dysregulated people as friends and partners because that’s what’s familiar.

I am not casting shade on what someone had to do to survive — far from it — but I am stating that what once kept is safe can turn into a straightjacket.

If you don’t do the work of healing your trauma instead of just compensating for it, you will eventually become one of your parents — and marry the other one.

I see so many people trying to manage their trauma — through affirmation, meditation, ritual, archetype study, dance and movement … and while these things are excellent in the right place, all they really do for trauma is take enough of the “edge” off that the person can continue to get by. The do not actually uproot the trauma and file the traumatic event in the past where it belongs.

While I have seen and experienced that trauma can be released through deep, authentic spiritual practice, I must also say that this approach requires a very fierce discipline and is unreliable for actual trauma release, generally becoming “bypass” that

So be the one in your family who breaks the cycle.